Preferred Age Difference in Dating?

How young is too young?

This question came up and I'm going to provide a safe answer: it depends.

Not satisfied? Here are some factors to consider...

Age
Fortunately, mathematics offers a theory. Divide your age by two and add seven, the result is the youngest age you should date.

So, for example, if you're 22 years old: 22 / 2 + 7 = 18. This means you can date someone who is at least 18 years old.

But just because you could doesn't necessarily mean you should.

Life stage
Where you are in life makes a difference from a socioeconomic and maturity lens. Consider that the human brain does not fully develop until age 25. So dating a college student while still in high school or a working professional while dating someone in college does make a difference.

Finances

Related to life stage, money plays a big role in every relationship. How much do each of you currently make and what are your earning potentials? Talk about these things!

While I am not sure what a preferred age difference is, I can think of extremes where it will not be a good idea.   

Observations of a church greeter

"Is this your first visit?"

It's a common question you may get from any church greeter pre-pandemic when we would meet in church lobbies.

I hated being on my church's greeting team. I was shy, insecure, and simply uncomfortable locking eyes with strangers to say hello. As I've gotten more comfortable over the years, there are some observations I want to share in no particular order.

When it comes to showing people to their seats, I've found it's most commonly broken into three groups:

1. People who have their preferred seats already and simply know where to go

2. People who are looking for the people they typically sit next with

3. People who are not sure where to sit

The third group is my favourite because they are typically new visitors or feeling alienated, so my role as a greeter should be focused on them. 

 

Pro-tip: instead of asking, "is this your first visit?", try "how long have you been attending?" 

On Rogue One

I've been wanting to write my thoughts on this Star Wars entry since I saw it. So here it goes!

First off, let me say that it's definitely worth your time to see. One friend commented that if you strip away the Star Wars elements, you're still left with a very good story and I agree.

Something that stuck out most to me was the theme around sacrifice. I'm sure others have made this observation with the original films, but there's certainly a parallel that can be drawn between the force and Christianity. It's exemplified in this film through the character Chirrut, who believes strongly in the force:

I am one with the force and the force is with me
I am one with the force and the force is with me
I am one with the force and the force is with me
I am one with the force and the force is with me

Now replace the force with Christ

I am one with Christ and Christ is with me
I am one with Christ and Christ is with me
I am one with Christ and Christ is with me
I am one with Christ and Christ is with me

Doesn't this make you think of 1 Thessalonians 5:17, pray without ceasing? While it's not taken literally, the idea is the same.

This idea was reinforced when I watched one YouTube commentator's observation about the story's sub-theme: trust and sacrifice

"I fear nothing, for all is as (Christ) wills it."
"May (Christ) be with us."

"In the end, the mission cost them their lives, but the cause they're dying for is much greater."

What do you think?

Five Movies Any PR Person Will Want to Watch

It’s no secret that I’m a movie guy. If you know me even a little bit, one thing you’d leave with is probably my love for film. Cross that with my passion for PR, and we have this post. There are definitely other movies that belong in this post – fortunately, this post isn’t titled “the top 5 PR movies of all time.”

That said, if you enjoy movies and PR then read on!

Wag The Dog
The film focuses on a political spin-doctor who partners with a Hollywood producer to present a fake war. Why? It’s all in the hope of distracting the electorate from a presidential sex scandal only two weeks before the election.

Margin Call

The 2008 financial collapse is still fresh in our minds as one of the largest crisis incidences in recent history. Though you can argue this is more a movie for financial analysts, make no mistake: this is a crisis management issue that a lot can be learned from. It gives a sense of what a leadership team looks like, particularly in the midst of an impending crisis. It also sheds light into how an organization’s behaviour aligns with its value system, right down to treatment of its employees. The firm’s change management and communication techniques are also worth taking note.

Hancock

Admittedly not my favourite movie, let alone superhero movie, but Jason Bateman brings the spirit that every PR practitioner should embody. Rather than simply fix a troubled alien’s reputation, Bateman’s character sets out to change the alien’s ill-mannered behaviour first. It’s a true underdog story of a PR person trying to do the right thing the right way.

Enemy at the Gates

Although this film’s protagonist is a pawn in the story’s propaganda campaign, there are still interesting ideas to pull on the topic of forming public opinion. There’s much that can be learned from propaganda used during the war, from both sides, and how this has evolved communication models.

The Ides of March

Perfect for any communicator in politics. Ryan Gosling plays an experienced press secretary for the governor of Ohio but winds up in a secret meeting with the opposing party. This encounter sets off a series of incidents that severely threaten his governor’s chances at winning the party election for a shot at the presidency. You see speech writing in action here.

Sign Your Work

Here's a post written by Seth Godin:

We expect authors, painters and singers to identify themselves, to sign the work they do.

And surgeons and lawyers as well.

What about managers, committee members, engineers and everyone else who makes something? Who made this policy? Who designed this menu? Who approved this project?

If you're not proud of it, don't ship it. If you are, sign your work and own the results. We'll know who to thank. If you work for a place where work goes unsigned (internally, in particular) it's worth asking why.

Something good to think about as we prepare to enter a new year creating things.

2014 Fall TV Previews and Predictions

Television networks have unveiled their fall lineup of new shows. Two year ago I took a look at some of their trailer offerings and predicted hits, misses and maybes. I thought I would do something similar but focusing on each network. But first…. Here are the results of my guessing game:

Hits I predicted: 
• Animal Practice (canceled)
• Elementary (on air - renewed for season 3)
• Emily Owens, M.D. (canceled)
• Go On (canceled)
• Revolution (canceled)

Misses I predicted: 
• Guys With Kids (canceled)
• Last Resort (canceled)
• Made In Jersey (canceled)
• Malibu Country (canceled)
• The Mob Doctor (canceled)
• Neighbors (canceled)
• The New Normal (canceled)
• Ben & Kate (canceled)
• Vegas (canceled)

Maybes I wasn’t sure about: 
• The Mindy Project (on air – renewed for season 3)
• Nashville (on air – renewed for season 3)
• Partners (canceled)

So now we’ll play game I’ll call “canceled or renewed”

CBS

Scorpian (drama)
Prediction: Renewed
Why: Enough character variety to be interesting, especially for back-stories. Like origin stories, character back-stories has always been a hit (e.g. many HIMYM episodes that focused on back-stories have been hits). It’s a mix of Big Bang Theory and 24, so it should be alright.

Madam Secretary (drama)
Prediction: Canceled
Why: I’m not sure why, just not feeling it.

The McCarthys (comedy)
Prediction: Canceled
Why: The jokes are not funny, the characters seem too shallow and the laugh track is relied on too much.

Stalker (suspense thriller)
Prediction: Canceled
Why: Interesting idea for a movie, but too weird to shine a light on a procedural show about stalking

NCIS: New Orleans (drama)
Prediction: Renewed
Why: NCIS and NCIS: LA seem to be doing well for themselves. It’s a safe bet to stick with a spin-off similar to the CSI or Law & Order models.

Extant (suspense thriller)
Prediction: Renewed
Why: Steven Spielberg produces, Halle Berry stars, yeah, that’s a winner. I think the question what is love is a very universal theme that many people can stand behind. Of course this makes a great movie idea, but I think it will see success on the small screen.

NBC

Constantine (drama)
Prediction: Renewed
Why: I think people will have a thing for the supernatural. Those shows seem to still be popular with cult followings (i.e. Supernatural)

State of Affairs (drama)
Prediction: Canceled
Why: Would make a great miniseries, but that’s about all.

Marry Me (comedy)
Prediction: Canceled
Why: Similar reasons to The McCarthy’s

Bad Judge (comedy)
Prediction: Canceled
Why: Reminds me of Made In Jersey, and we know how that turned out…

The Mysteries of Laura (drama)
Prediction: Canceled
Why: Just not feeling it…. (that’s a valid reason, right?)

A to Z (comedy)
Prediction: Renewed
Why: Let’s hope “The Mother” lasts longer in this romantic comedy series.

FOX

Backstrom (drama)
Prediction: Canceled
Why: No substance here.

Empire (drama)
Prediction: Canceled
Why: Just not feeling it.

Gang Related (drama)
Prediction: Canceled
Why: I just don’t see anything different from any other gang-related movie.

Gotham (drama)
Prediction: Renewed
Why: Not sure if this can be classified the same as Agents of SHIELD or even Arrow, but the direction this show is taking has everyone hopeful. Origin stories are big sellers, and to give supporting characters of the most beloved comic book hero a voice is a great path to take in storytelling.

Gracepoint (drama)
Prediction: Canceled
Why: Just not feeling it.

Hieroglyph (drama)
Prediction: Canceled
Why: Too risky to play this period piece, just not feeling it.

I Wanna Marry “Harry” (reality)
Prediction: Canceled
Why: Why?!

Mulaney (comedy)
Prediction: Canceled
Why: Using a formula similar to Seinfeld (stand-up comedian intro), it’s 20 years too late. The laugh gaffs just don’t work anymore.

Utopia (reality)
Prediction: Canceled
Why: It’s Survivor meets Big Brother, so why the skepticism if those two shows have succeeded fairly well? Maybe because the title is itself a self-fulfilling prophesy (utopia’s don’t exist, and I’m thinking a second season won’t either)

ABC

Selfie (comedy)
Prediction: Canceled
Why: So stupid. Seriously, no one is that self-absorbed. The concept is great, looking inwardly to fill our void of insecurities with superfluous online connections, but this doesn’t look relatable at all.

Manhattan Love Story (comedy)
Prediction: Canceled

Forever (drama)
 
Prediction: Canceled

Black-ish (comedy)
Prediction: Canceled
Why: So racist.

How To Get Away With Murder (legal thriller)
Prediction: Renewed
Why: There’s something about it that keeps you interested, perhaps its “who dunnit” feel.

Cristela (comedy)
Prediction: Canceled
Why: So racist.


So that’s my take on the big name networks. Interesting to see what will stay and what will make it past season 1 (season 3 is an indication you had a good run, anything beyond that can be counted as success – in my own opinion). What shows are you looking forward to this fall?

Will You Go Out With Them? Part 1

photo credit: CreationSwap/Kelly Sikkema

Three reasons married people should embrace a third wheel.

Recently I find myself reflecting on a topic I’ve discussed numerous times before: the art of third-wheel dating. In fact it’s not even the first time I’m writing about this topic. But now I find myself reflecting more seriously about it again.

Why so serious? Because I strongly believe there is a prime market for healthy personal growth here that remains untapped.

Hear me out, I know you’ve been there too, married people: newly married and all of a sudden disappearing from your circle of single friends and entering into a new circle of married friends. Not that there’s nothing wrong with that, it’s just a natural part of life.

But…

It doesn’t have to be all gloom and doom for your remaining single friends. I want to highlight 3 benefits for married couples to bring on a third person on their next date. So if you’re married, read up!

1) It takes the focus off of you.

Depending how long you've been married for, there may come a time when seeing a face besides your spouse will actually be refreshing. Also it’s a different dance from the typical double-dating scene, because it’s a moment to focus on one person and actually get deeper in their life. You don’t need to dwell on your own concerns when you can help someone else navigate theirs.

2) Mentorship

Older couples, I know how much you love inviting young dating couples to your house for dinner, but why limit yourself? Don’t ever lose out on the opportunity for your marriage to mirror what a loving marriage looks like to someone who isn’t there yet. It’s also a great investment if you do want to mentor a young couple. Think about it: when that single person you keep having over for dinner begins a relationship, you have already earned their trust and they will be inviting themselves to dinner!

3) Relational Insight

I mentioned taking on a third-wheel takes the focus off of you, but in a way it also helps reorient your relationship with your spouse. Maybe they said something that you think could help better enhance your marriage. Or maybe the paths they took are reminders for you to try something different as well. Who knows? The point is, you won’t really know until you have those conversations yourself. So go do it!

In Part II I will offer three reasons why single people should pursue third-wheel dates with couples. So stay tuned, and in the meantime, go on a third-wheel date!