Love Languages

Whether you subscribe to the idea of the "five love languages" or not, I'll list them:
- words of affirmation
- quality time
- acts of service
- physical touch
- receiving gifts

Mine are Words of Affirmation and Quality Time. I find that, like Myers Briggs personalities, it's a very good thing to know what each individual's preference is. It helps not only in the area of love, but also in business.

I'm not sure how people liken the idea of comparing love with business, but this is my attempt at it. In the context of personal preferences (time vs. touch, introvert vs. extrovert, etc), it helps a great deal to learn what preference the other adheres to. It's a common practice in Japanese business culture to include a gift, however the style & presentation in giving the gift is usually more important than the gift itself (source).

When you understand yourself, and understand those around you, it makes the relationships work more fluidly. Communication enhances, and anxiety is greatly reduced. I only imagine what I said just then is true. It really helps in getting to know your friends & colleagues, and taking the time or effort to meet them at their preference shows that you really do care about them.

Jurassic Park

I cannot wait for 2012 to arrive. Not that I'm tired of 2011 or anything like that, after all we're not even through the first month yet. And it's not even about the whole thing about the world ending (I have no idea what's going to happen when we get to 2013). There are many things to look forward to in 2012.

I'm especially excited in the area of film, as many movies are coming out that year including The Dark Knight Rises. Also, James Cameron is re-releasing Titanic, only this time in 3D - admittedly, it's not necessary but 2012 does signify the 100 year remembrance of the sinking of Titanic. I've seen that movie so many times, I think close to 7 times in one week actually. I love everything about Titanic; its history, its lessons, event its name. And albeit the acting, James Cameron did a good job with the film overall. Like The Dark Knight, Titanic is one of my favourite movies.

Though if I had to choose my favourite movie of all time, that title goes to none other than Jurassic Park. It fueled my love for dinosaurs and John Williams' soundtracks.

Someone took the theme song to Jurassic Park and slowed it down 1000% to create the most hauntingly beautiful piece I've heard all week. If you're ever in want of an hour-long orchestra, it's right here.

Jurassic Park Theme (1000% Slower) by birdfeeder

Puzzle Piece

I found myself waking up one night to the thought of puzzles. Actually puzzles was the metaphor for relationships. My roommate told me that his young adults church group is going through a series about relationships, so naturally I thought it would be fun to blog about it.

I find that the image people commonly use to describe their/a relationship is a jigsaw puzzle; it just "fits." Find the perfect puzzle piece and you've found your life partner. I'm questioning that idea. Because what happens when you find someone who looks like that missing puzzle piece?

Hypothetical: You're dating for a few weeks or a few months, and all of the "fun factors" are present:

- someone's reaching out and you're holding hands or arms are around each other
- there's no shortage of texts that come in through the day
- you miss each other, and that fact is communicated
- that rush feeling when you're introduced as the 'girlfriend' or 'boyfriend'
- the look on their face (or maybe just their face is enough) when you see them after being apart

With all these factors, does this mean that the puzzle piece fits together?

I was thinking more about the idea of a jigsaw puzzle. When I start a puzzle, I usually begin with the edges; the corners give a good indication of where the puzzle ends. I look for the colour unification; green with green, blue with blue, etc. What's more fun is that you already know what the puzzle is supposed to look like, so you put certain pieces in a pile, saving them for later.

Imagine completing a jigsaw puzzle, but the pieces are all backwards. You don't have colours to match with, you don't know where the pieces go, you don't even know what the finished puzzle looks like. I wonder if life is like a jigsaw piece. We play on the greyside, so we don't know what the picture is, but we find two pieces that somehow fit together. They may not fit perfectly together, but they fit close enough together. You won't know that it's perfect or not until you see the whole puzzle, in its completion.

Last Words

The last two episodes of #himym were more emotionally charged than usual. Usually I tear up from laughing too hard, but these metaphorical tears were different. This week's episode brought up an interesting thought, about the last words you hear from a person before they're gone.

Monday was also MLK Day and I googled what his last words were. Here's a wiki answer:

...According to Jesse Jackson who was present, King's last words were to Ben Branch a musician who was scheduled to play that night at an event King was attending: "Ben, make sure you play "Take my hand precious Lord" in the meeting tonight. Play it real pretty."

I think living in a Web 2.0 world pushes the parameters of how we convey our last words. What will be our last Facebook post? Our last tweet? Our last blog post? [Actually, an interesting article I read recently discusses the idea of your digital dead self] Anyway, I'm sure my last text to my sister was a quote from Batman.

If we lived each day like it was our last, I'm sure we would put more thought into the words we say to each other. It's true that through the tongue we both praise and curse. Why is it so much easier to put someone down with our words than it is to lift them up? We are a sarcastic society; everything we say is a (put-down) joke. I do think I need to have more meaningful conversations, which would include my interactions via social networks as well.

Yes, You

Saturday the big day arrived; we held our Yes, You Can! student leadership conference! It took a least nine months planning, the amount of time it takes to have a baby, and this event did feel like it was our "baby" these last couple of months.

The biggest response seemed to resonate from the keynote speaker, Amanda Lindhout, who shared about her experiences in Somalia and what she learned about forgiveness. Both her talk about the President's address kick-started the day the way we anticipated. It was encouraging to see a room full of students listening to Amanda's story and taking in her experiences.

Throughout the day I became more self-aware of my abilities and talents. I really enjoy leading by serving, and there's something significant about the concept of servant-leadership. Whether it's helping fellow committee members or participants, there is a sense of worth I get that comes from being available and helping out. My friend coordinated a week-long conference in December and shared a glimpse of just what the visuals looked like on paper. He was always on the run, ensuring everything was operating smoothly. Reflecting on this particular conference, I enjoyed giving opportunities for people to discuss and share what they've been learning. This meant creating an online presence for people who wanted to participate & know what's going on without being there, but also engaging with the ones who were attending and learning what they are taking away. Whether on my feet or on a chair, engagement was the thought of my day.

I found that each seminar reaffirmed common themes, that each complimented another. Student presenter Mozynah Nofal spoke about Dialogue and offered an example of the misconceptions of faith. Some stuff she said really relates to what one of my favourite blogger says about dreams & ideas. He also uses faith as an example, so I'd be interested in your thoughts!

Creative Ingenuity

Last year I stumbled upon Alec Brownstein. I'll give you a moment to click on his name and watch his video. . . (1:01 minutes later) . . . How cool was that?!

There are three main reasons why I liked this video so much: outside-the-box thinking, personal promotion, and viral attraction.

In high school the best creative edge to help your resume stand out from the rest was to present it on a dvd. One person who did this had a username (company name) and password ("hireme") to open the files from the dvd. What Alec did here isn't what got him the job alone, but it's what helped him stand out. I've read that when company bosses are doing promotions, they promote the employees that they know and recognize. In this same practice, Alec is making himself stand out in a very positive way.

Not only does he gets the attention of potential bosses, but this very video gains the attention of just about everyone who watches it. I'm sure I can't be the only one who went to his website after and looked at his past projects (it's really cool, the stuff he worked on). Instant name recognition.

With almost 1 million views, what I enjoy most is the way Alec presents his "experiment". He could have chosen to verbalize it, film himself and give a step-by-step of what he did. He chose the perfect music and gave it the perfect pace. It was short, and to the point. It was something that made me want to share with others, and not just say "yeah, that's cool" and leave it (then forget about it).

I've been watching a lot of TEDTalks recently, but there're many great vids on Youtube. Here's one I got from a friend that made my night. Enjoy!

Party Time!

I know of fifteen couples engaged to be married. I know this because I wrote them down. I wrote them down because before writing them down I thought I knew maybe six or seven, or eight. So it's really surprising to see how much I underestimated.

It's a great season to be in, and this is coming from a guy on the outside looking in. I can imagine the thrill of asking yourself, what now, and being overwhelming at first; questions coming to you (guy or girl) from every direction: Have you picked a date? Have you picked a place? How did he/you propose? May I/we see the ring? I imagine that's all part of the excitement for them too, the sudden whirlwind of entering a new phase of a new season.

I recently asked a few people, and it's a question that has been posed by others as well: what is more important, the ring or the proposal?

"The proposal, because you want a good story to tell your friends"
"The ring, because it's going to be on your finger forever" (I didn't actually know this)
"The proposal, because it's all on the guy to figure out"
"The ring, because there needs to be thought into it"

Ultimately it will certainly depend on the couple, and that's the beauty of relationship - knowing the other person well enough that you just know what she wants. There's nothing more embarrassing than asking her in front of a jumbo-tron at a baseball game when she's a private person, and there's nothing more romantic than something quiet and sincere that you know is perfectly right for her.

So to the fifteen (going on thirty?) I say a heartfelt Congratulations! :) And looking forward to the engagement parties, haha.

Let's Meet

I have read articles and heard reasons why we should do away with holding meetings, that meetings are counter-productive and prevent us from actually accomplishing anything. I'm still not convinced.

I'm waiting for results of studies that examined "open space" work environments that operate in just one large room and see what they say. In theory I think it is a really neat idea, and can lead to more productive and psychologically healthier employees. This new idea of open space contradicts this new idea of doing away with meetings.

As for actual meetings, I think they serve some good purposes. Even if someone knows exactly what they're doing, and a meeting will do nothing for them in terms of contributing to their work, it is still good to make that face-to-face interaction with the other members of the team. With more and more moves to embracing technology and enabling people to work from home, it will become increasingly difficult to have a simple chat with someone in person. If you are someone who just doesn't like talking to people, that may be another issue.

Meetings help re-motivate the group to stay on track and collaborate on some different ideas. Perhaps there is something raised that another individual didn't consider. The biggest argument against holding meetings is that everyone knows what to do and meetings keep them from accomplishing the actual tasks. When you work at home you don't really know what other members of your team is up to (I like using the example of the email correspondence illustrated in The Social Network). If someone hasn't worked as much on a project as expected, a meeting is a good time to find out.

I do agree with the (Japanese?) saying "Fix the problem, not the blame", and meetings have the ability to do just that; collectively you can decide what needs to be done and who is the best person to do it, whether that means changing responsibilities.

What do you think, are we going to see the endangerement (did I just make up a word?) of traditional office work-related meetings?

Excruciating Vulnerability

Brene Brown gave a TEDTalk about the power of vulnerability. It reminds me a lot about when I was thinking about the words vulnerability and courage, which is interesting because even she separates the difference between courage and bravery. I highly recommend you watch the video in it's entirety (she's fun), but if 20 minutes is 20 minutes too long for you, below are some quotes and thoughts from her talk.

Through her research, she found that "people who have a strong sense of love and belong believe they are worthy of love and belonging."

You have to let go of who you think you should be, and be who you are." Fully embrace vulnerability. What makes you vulnerable makes you beautiful.

Is it comfortable? No. Is it excruciating? No. Is it necessary? Absolutely. Do something that has no guarantees. Be the one who says 'I love you' first.

If you don't think that vulnerability is as big or significant as Brown sets out, I invite you to visit PostSecret, a project where people anonymously mail in their personal secrets which are then shared publicly. I was thinking some time ago how much courage it takes for someone to share their secret with someone they know.

Brown goes on to say that we numb vulnerability. I quickly think of one of my favourite movies, Equilibrium, where the idea of suppressing emotion really does mirror real life in a way I didn't think of before.

She concludes with a challenge. A call to be seen, vulnerably seen. Something I discovered last year to help in this direction is through Twitter. A small project I heard about second-hand is trying to convey yourself in a way that promotes transparency and realness. Hash tag #sincerelyme is a way to express your identity with your vulnerability. Imagine the courage in that?!

Remember that "you are imperfect, but you are worthy of love and belonging." Do you know a person who thinks this of you? I promise you there is such a person.

Driving Lessons

I love driving, but I dislike parking. The solution? Road trip!

When practicing for your driver's license, you're always told to have confidence behind the wheel. A confident driver is a sure driver (or safe driver?). Driving around my lovely hometown I discovered that driving actually builds confidence in and of itself. And I don't mean simply by the continuity of practice. I mean sitting in the driver's seat, gripping the wheel with your gloves, and staring into the open road.

Perhaps it has more to do when you have another individual riding with you. All of a sudden you are responsible for another life; you are entrusted to ensure everything you can do to protect them and keep them safe you do do (heh). What other instances do we things for the fun of it, but then when it involves other people we take the more cautious approach? And when you arrive to your destination, you're proud of the journey. Until you park. I really need to work on parking.

Comfortable Silence

I think of the classy Christmas song Silent Night, and ask myself "how silent was it?" I mean, the shepherds had their sheep, and the wise men had their ...camels? (I'm not sure if their method of transportation is actually documented. And I'm pre-shamed if it is). My point is that, although I haven't been to many births, I'm sure not all was quiet let alone silent.

And yet, there is something satisfying when you encounter yourself with another human being(s) and the silence is not awkward, it just... is.

And yet, it's difficult for me to attain Comfortable Silence because I find that I am the one who has to say something. Anything. "A wise man has something to say, a fool has to say something." I forget who said that (it was Plato - thanks Google Search!), but it's an interesting thought. Sometimes I talk to much, and other times not enough. It may feel so difficult to find yourself in that place where you can just let silence take over, feel tranquility both in mind and body.

And yet, it is possible.

What Ifs

Have you ever played the What If game?

"What if I had gone to this school instead of that?"
"What if I said yes to this offer instead of no?"
"What if I went to the bathroom before I left?"

The thing about playing the What If game is that it really isn't fun to play. There is always a loser, and that loser is you. Is me. Is whoever decides to play that game. From time to time I catch myself playing the game, reflecting and questioning past decisions I've made and how my life would have altered had I chosen differently. I tend to think back in the past, but how often do we play What If with our futures?

"What if I ask her but she says no?"
"What if I apply but I don't get accepted?"
"What if I miss my bus/train/plane?"

I recently got into an interesting conversation with a friend about the idea of goals and achieving business success. One thing I told him I'm trying to avoid this year is the word 'Can't'. If I had something, like a class, that was interfering with something more enjoyable, I would opt for going to class and say "I can't do that other thing, I have class," when really, I'm choosing to put class before the more enjoyable thing.

Another attitude we discussed was our perception of regret, and to look at every past action as a learning experience rather than a mere disappointment. You will never know unless you do.

But is touching fire the best way to know that it's hot?

New Year

So Deathcab was right: this is the new year, and I don't feel any different. That doesn't change how anticipated I am for this year to unveil itself. My interests have expanded recently to several things, and I wish this blog to highlight some of them.

If I had to select one word for this year, it would be opportunity. As in, don't let any opportunity pass you by. You are always given choices, and many times we choose what is safer or has less risk or what is just comfortable. I want to expand my network, but more in the physical sense than digital. This could mean more traveling; whether it is to another country, city, or street.

So here's to not just another year, but a new one.