Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Will You Go Out With Them? Part 1

photo credit: CreationSwap/Kelly Sikkema

Three reasons married people should embrace a third wheel.

Recently I find myself reflecting on a topic I’ve discussed numerous times before: the art of third-wheel dating. In fact it’s not even the first time I’m writing about this topic. But now I find myself reflecting more seriously about it again.

Why so serious? Because I strongly believe there is a prime market for healthy personal growth here that remains untapped.

Hear me out, I know you’ve been there too, married people: newly married and all of a sudden disappearing from your circle of single friends and entering into a new circle of married friends. Not that there’s nothing wrong with that, it’s just a natural part of life.


It doesn’t have to be all gloom and doom for your remaining single friends. I want to highlight 3 benefits for married couples to bring on a third person on their next date. So if you’re married, read up!

1) It takes the focus off of you.
Depending how long you've been married for, there may come a time when seeing a face besides your spouse will actually be refreshing. Also it’s a different dance from the typical double-dating scene, because it’s a moment to focus on one person and actually get deeper in their life. You don’t need to dwell on your own concerns when you can help someone else navigate theirs.

2) Mentorship
Older couples, I know how much you love inviting young dating couples to your house for dinner, but why limit yourself? Don’t ever lose out on the opportunity for your marriage to mirror what a loving marriage looks like to someone who isn’t there yet. It’s also a great investment if you do want to mentor a young couple. Think about it: when that single person you keep having over for dinner begins a relationship, you have already earned their trust and they will be inviting themselves to dinner!

3) Relational Insight
I mentioned taking on a third-wheel takes the focus off of you, but in a way it also helps reorient your relationship with your spouse. Maybe they said something that you think could help better enhance your marriage. Or maybe the paths they took are reminders for you to try something different as well. Who knows? The point is, you won’t really know until you have those conversations yourself. So go do it!

In Part II I will offer three reasons why single people should pursue third-wheel dates with couples. So stay tuned, and in the meantime, go on a third-wheel date!

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