Saturday, December 11, 2010

Themed Weddings

Lately been thinking that I know more people who are getting engaged than I thought I did, directly or indirectly. Someone set a date for the 24th of September, and I told her that's a great day to get married. She asked me why and I tell her that I wanted to plan my wedding day on the 24th, because I am a huge fan of the show. Now I know that a wedding day boils down to availability, etc, but I think the number should be significant. After all, you're going to have to remember it for the rest of your life!

I've shared with some people first date ideas, proposal ideas. I even have a few bachelor party ideas that is totes worth listening to for a laugh (so if you need ideas gentlemen, talk to me!)

This here is my version of a very fictitious 24-themed wedding. . .

The officiant will be none other than Kiefer Sutherland (of course) and the bride will walk down with the theme song playing in the background, in a pinstriped wedding suit-dress. Fashion designers, get on that, it's "gonna be a thing."

The wedding party will all be wearing earpieces, whispering things like "affirmative" or "delta bravo, roger" into their sleeve in response to everything Kiefer says. THEN . . . The windows of the building all get smashed by armed men who have rappelled themselves into the building, seeking revenge because I'm a secret agent that infiltrated their group in the past and put many of their colleagues behind bars. And then a few more enter the front doors and barricade them so no one can get out.

What am I doing when this ruckus is going down? I'm pulling out my desert eagle that I keep strapped to me leg at all times, and returning some fire and using the pews for protection. And the wife-to-be gives a look of pure rage, as she busts out a 12-gauge shotgun and starts blasting away in the direction of the wedding crashers.

I don't remember how it played out from there, as the groomsmen have a role in securing a perimeter, but as this is all part of the theme, everyone except some of the guests are in on it. We used rubber bullets so no one was really put in harms way.

Ultimately this all goes down within exactly one hour, and we keep a giant digital clock at the front that sounds really annoying after the first few ticks.


  1. Hahahahahahaha 24 themed wedding, Brillant!
    At my wedding, all the groomsmen are going to be wearing superhero shirts underneath their suits, and then at a random interval rip open their shirts to reveal the superheroes underneath.
    It'll be fantastic!

  2. PLEASE invite me to your wedding =P
    I'll be sure to bring an extra supply of rubber bullets.
    Maybe you can even get the best man to shoot the ring out of the gun, which your bride will catch on her fourth finger while performing a roundhouse kick. KAPOW AWESOME.

  3. Hahaha, I think you're gonna have a job convincing your fiancee to do this!!! :)